I’m quite aware that most of the time the way I live isn’t in line with the philosophy I like to remember. However here’s a start…

To the person who posted the comment about my daughter – to verbally assault a baby who didn’t live the way you did was the action of a coward. I know you are a coward as you did not have courage to face me, and after today I won’t give you the honor of mentioning your presence in my blog anymore – just know this… I know who you are. Do not ask me for anymore favours.

Every day I am reminded that I do not belong where I am. Every day I am reminded about all the great things about England, that I never realised existed until I left.ƒâ€š Every day I wish I could just pack my bags and take off back to England.

I’ve always had problems relating to women. Whether it manifest as shyness, or weirdness or intimidation – it’s always been there. That’s thanks to Myra Anscombe from Southborough, Kent, England. I remember one time with my best friend Susie (before she was my best friend)… she and I were up in my apartment with a buddy of ours called Mark. We were larking around with pillows – all in good fun – we ended up wrestling and I held her down by her arms for about five seconds. Thinking nothing of it I just went on about my day. The next day Mark told me that Susie got scared of me because I had a weird look in my eye. I was totally crushed. Eventually Susie realised that I didn’t mean nothing by it, but still to this day about nine years later that event bothers me.

All of my former girlfriends have done me over or have been unproductive relationships. One I met in a psychiatric children’s ward… I loved her for a long long time. We were never really together but I loved her for about eight years after I last saw her. Another I met in that same ward… she was half decent.. a complete and total nymphomaniac who had to have it all the time. Sad that she’ll never amount to much. The next was my former wife. Suffice to say that was a complete mistake I made choosing a highly insecure woman with control issues, when I was at an emotionally vunerable point in life.

The next cheated on me – which didn’t help my opinion of women generally. It was this woman that made me go through an intensive period of hating America, it’s values, it’s citizens and everything it stands for. Note – I do not classify indigenous people as part of their respective colonised lands. Luckily I mostly got over that.

My current woman has some serious problems too. Our relationship is tumultuous to say the least, but she’ll always have one up on everyone else because she’s blessed me with two beautiful children.

Literating about my current and previous female interests is to show that all the people who have screwed me over in life and done me wrong have been female – that includes my mother – so it’s comforting for me to find solace and true friendship in a woman: my best friend Susie Gardiner.

Something I’ve noticed of late is that when people do things wrong… they don’t want anyone to know about it.  If someone steals or diverts funds into places they know they shouldn’t be… they try to keep it quiet.

Why is that?  It sounds like people are ashamed and are trying to hide their misdeeds… yet they’re not ashamed to take money or other stuff.  It sickens me. What sickens me even more is when you find that other people who know it is wrong… support the wrongdoers.  Corruption and nepotism is rampant around me and it’s messed up!

The last couple of weeks I’ve been asking myself if my intentions on this blog about various matters are truly neutral.  I like to think they are.  I don’t benefit whatsoever from any decisions made where I live – the only benefits I get are ones I earn at my job through hard work, and not through thinking I’m automatically entitled to money. So I say this…

To anyone who disagrees with anything I say.. please provide proof to the contrary, so I can apologise for any incorrect statements that have been made.

I’m having an extremely tough time of not inflicting very serious harm upon the person that posted the comment about my daughter.  I’m hoping one day the coward will have the courage to say it to me in person.  If I were a Christian, I would probably be forgiving that person because they’re surrounded by no-good alcoholics and useless drug addicts, but I’m not and I wish every day they would say it to me.

Went to the gymnasium again today.  Darryl’s a pretty awesome personal trainer.  I’m aching all over.  Going to the gymnasium tomorrow and the next day too.  I’m hoping within two years I’ll have gained approximately 45 pounds of muscle – at least that’s my aim.

I perfectly respect people’s right to be offended… within reason.  For instance, a person should not have a right to be offended at a crack in the pavement… but should have the right to be offended when morons smoke around a non-smoker.  That’s highly offensive… but when you cause offence to someone and you genuinely did not mean it… and the offence was caused by the improper choice of vocabulary as opposed to the wrong vocabulary backed up by ignorance – then I don’t think that person should have the right to get offended.

Now for instance… when a gutless coward makes evil comments about an innocent child that’s more offensive than anyone could imagine.  For someone to say something evil about an innocent, simply because factual statements were made, makes it even more offensive.

Let’s talk about the type of person that might make that sort of attack in any particular situation.  I think we can all agree they are cowards… but can we all agree that the person should die for what they’ve said?  I think they should.  There often comes situations in which the offended person cannot inflict vengeance on the attacker because there are much larger things at stake.  I like to wonder what it would take to cause the offended person to take out the attacker forever.

Canada has a reputation for being one of the most religiously, culturally and socially accepting countries in the world. It is promoted as tolerant of anyone who is different. The racism from non-aboriginal people in this town is staggering. About 80% of white people in this town are either unashamed racists or closet-bigots. There are exceptions to the rule of course… my buddy Jordan McDonald. He’s pretty cool… even if he is hooked on myspace.

Since I’ve lived on this reserve I’ve learnt to resent and hate like no other. There are some great, great people out here… I really mean that too. There used to be one female in particular that I hated without reserve, because of the vindictiveness and spitefulness she gave out. That hatred has almost vanished… being replaced with pity. This person’s life is pretty crappy and honestly needs pity.

I have found a new person to hate – a gutless wimp who hasn’t the courage to step up and talk evil to me in person. What makes it worse is that I’m the one that has to show the maturity.

This person suggested in a very uncivil way that I need financial assistance from this Band for my children. Problem is I take care of my own – keep clothes on their back, food on the table and all the love mine need. I don’t need handouts from anyone, nor do I need to go on drug fuelled alcoholic binges.

And so it has come to this… I will be polite and civil but know that a quiet burning hatred will exist. I’ve long thought that Enola Gay’s target should have been this reserve.

Spanish police are hunting a former Nazi concentration camp doctor – known as Doctor Death – believed to be hiding in northern Spain. Aribert Heim, 91, who worked in the Mauthausen camp, is the second most wanted Nazi suspect alive.

Authorities in Catalonia province say he could be somewhere on the north eastern coast or the Balearic Islands.

A spokeswoman said Dr Heim’s exact location was not known, despite Israeli reports that an arrest was imminent.

A spokeswoman for Catalonia’s autonomous police, the Mossos d’Esquadra, told the BBC that an investigation was underway.

“They are looking for this person along the Catalan coast but it could be that he is Ibiza, Mallorca or Menorca,” she said.

“There is an extradition order out for him and if he is found that will be carried out.”

Austrian-born Dr Heim is wanted in Germany and Austria for the deaths of hundreds of inmates by lethal injection at the Buchenwald, Sachsenhausen and Mauthausen concentration camps.

Justice

The Israeli newspaper Haaretz said at the weekend that an arrest was expected soon.

Dr Heim’s research included surgery without anaesthesia and injecting prisoners with gasoline, poison and lethal drugs to see how much their bodies could take before dying, the paper said.

He is listed by the Simon Wiesenthal Center as the second most wanted Nazi alive, after Adolf Eichmann’s top assistant Alois Brunner.

Dr Heim had worked in Germany after the war but disappeared in 1962 prior to plans to prosecute him.

German interior ministry spokesman Rainer Lingenthal declined to comment on the investigations to capture the doctor.

But he told the Associated Press: “You can imagine that, as far as all German authorities are concerned, there is the utmost interest in one of the last big notorious criminals possibly receiving his just punishment after all.”