Ryan Paul

What’s more tragic?

I was showing my neighbour and my bird a video of the Ken Bigley beheading. Shortly before that I was showing them some extremely sick pornographic videos that included double fisting, horses fornicating women, and the BME Pain Olympics video amongst others.

The Ken Bigley video was a touch blurry, and it wasn’t the full video, but it was enough to see that an inn0cent non-combatant, who gave his life helping young children, getting his head hacked off for the sake of religious extremism.

The two birds I was showing the video seemed to think it was funny enough that I took the video seriously to laugh and giggle the whole way through. Even after trying to impress upon them watching an innocent person dying isn’t a cause for levity – they still seemed to find it was funny that I was being serious about a video like that.

My confidential informant just told me a few moments ago they were ‘on a laughing trip’ from the sick videos before. I seem to remember them being grossed out and not hysterical.

The thing that takes the biscuit is I then showed them the viral video of that American soldier throwing the puppy off the cliff, and they’re both raising their voices in indignation. Am I the only one that sees something extremely wrong with a person being blase about a human being getting murdered, and then get outraged when a puppy gets abused?

June 6th, 2011 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Without a moral leg to stand on

As ever I find out time and time again people are gossiping about me and making completely false assumptions. For instance – after I seperated from my children’s mother… there was a person who I felt deeply for. I pined over that person for nearly 2.5years. That waned but there was always a little something that would set my pulse racing whenever I’d catch fleeting glances of that person around Kenora. All respect disappeared after a moment that happened at school.

Today I found that the person has told at least one other person that they suspect I’ve committed some illegal acts (based upon nothing other than the age of people I give car rides to and the word of an underage criminal deliquent). Then I find out that very recently that person has stated they hate me.

Tis very easy to deal with a moron hating me – that’s Kenora, but the spreading rumours about me being involved in criminal activity flared my temper. Some of the things this person has done in the past would put Heidi Fleiss to shame, but they have the nerve to cast judgement upon my moral character?

I mean it’s not like this person lives on a golden Crescent is it? I’d bet a pretty penny living with that person now would be like living in the Pit of Despair.

A person in a position of responsibility, like those for instance who work with juvenile delinquents, ought to be a pillar of moral upstanding in both their physical actions, words and thoughts. So it looks rather silly to me when someone with control issues, insecurity, and is immature enough to listen to gossip, says they hate me. Without knowing the type of person I am too.

Seems that harlot is just like the sisters who listen to gossip and talk nonsense. What a crowd of inadequate pretenders.

May 20th, 2011 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Canada

I’ve been having random attacks of Canadian patriotism. I must be careful because as Oscar Wilde said, “patriotism is a virtue of the vicious”. But right now I don’t give a toss. CANADA KICK’S ASS!! So I made a short youtube video to celebrate what Canadians do best – being awesome and coming out on top!

April 24th, 2011 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

A Racist Remark?

Just for a laugh I posted that my mate Mandy is going to become a British citizen. All in jest… not serious, and was carefully thought out. I actually did initially make my mate Mandy laugh. But then my former good mate’s girlfriend had to jump in and start bashing British people. Needless to say I’m not going to stay quiet.

Then a rather interesting comment was made. I immediately pointed out that it was racist (I’ve highlighted it in red for your convenience). The girlfriend immediately jumped in and gave the same excuse that lots of racists give “oh but I’ve got friends that are XYZ”. Decide for yourselves!

February 27th, 2011 | 6 Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Awesome FML Quotes

Feeling a bit down, a bit stressed, n all that shyt… I resolved to bring on a touch of cheer by reading some quotes on the FML App for iPhone. For those who don’t know – FML is an acronym for ‘F*ck my life’, and is usually used when something crappy happens. Anyway… my mood was lifted and ribs were hurting from laughter after above five minutes.

Today, I had surgery on my “girl parts” and can’t have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

Today, I got demoted from my manager’s position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriendâ€™s ». Really? I’ve looked everywhere in my flat, I canâ€™t find her. FML

Today, I heard my sister having a fuck. FML

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called “How to confess to having an affair.” FML

Today, as I was talking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, “No, not you! My other daddy!” I’ve got some talking to do tonight. FML

Today I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum I heard my mum’s voice on my voicemail: “Hi sweetheart”. FML

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn’t able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

Probably the funniest (and grossest) quote so far…

Today I was looking for a magazine in my mother’s bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. So: my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad’s cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

February 20th, 2011 | 4 Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Irresponsible or Abuse?

It’s clear, it’s proven and it’s understood by all normal people that a woman who consumes alcohol whilst pregnant is harming her baby, and by definition an irresponsible harlot. What does it make her when she not only drinks, but doesn’t care about the baby she is carrying, and while completely sober has no remorse for willingly damaging or wanting to willingly damage her baby?

Does it make her a useless waste of space? Does it make her one of the lowest life forms on the planet? Here’s a conversation I had on Facebook. Precluding this about two weeks ago I invited the harlot over to chill, and for about two weeks she was wanting to come over and get hammered, even after I pointed out it wasn’t responsible or a cool thing to do, multiple times.

When you’re deliberately and willingly harming an unborn child… is that just irresponsible or is it child abuse just as if the baby were born? Is the baby not a human being until its born? Does its human rights only exist once it is born?

January 4th, 2011 | 1 Comment | Share: Digg | Facebook

Friends, Old Flames & Dibs

Rather like a late night talk show… this could be called ‘Conversations with Cassie’. Anyway – creating a situation in which you could possibly be in the way of a best friend’s happiness seems uncool. I was told to blog about this, so here ya go

December 22nd, 2010 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Attention Kenora: A world exists outside of North America!

Sitting at home in the early hours of the morning I was talking to my brother which got me thinking about South Africa and the issues surrounding Apartheid. So obviously I started listening to music from one of the greatest movies I have ever seen – ‘The Power of One (Widescreen)‘.

I’d be willing to bet that out of the 15,500 people in Kenora someone would be lucky to find 100 people who’ve heard the music from the movie, much less than that people who would appreciate the musical talent, and even less than that actually like the music.

That in turn got me thinking about something on a larger scale that seems to be an endemic problem within Kenora. There are exceptions to this rule, but for the most part people in Kenora seem to think that ‘getting out of Kenora’ means moving to Toronto. I hate the fact that I don’t know many people who TRULY grasp the concept that there is a huge wide world out there beyond the shores of North America. For those who realise it… there aren’t many who have the desire or will to travel and see new things; and for those that have that desire – they do nothing about putting it into practice.

I wish I could grab twenty random people off the streets in Kenora and dump them in the middle of the Serengeti, 1000 miles from civilisation, with only a poncho, knife and a hunting rifle.

Since I was about eight years old I’ve had a yearning to take a flight to a random city on the African continent and spend a few years travelling all over the place, finally ending up somewhere like the jungles of Congo, or the plains of the Serengeti. I almost did before I came to Canada and now I probably will never go – because I know if I did go I would stay there and never come back. That sucks

I can understand people having studied about distant lands and not been able to travel because of sickness or children etc… but to not have the will to see the wider world makes me want to scream. Small-town minded dumb fucks!

November 6th, 2010 | 2 Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Kenora is Gossip Central and it sucks!

I just got back from Lakewood School Playground with the kids on their bikes. On the way into the school grounds I met a former friend. The bullcrap she was talking just confirmed the shattering of a near perfect illusion I held for nearly two years; and on top of that it pissed me off.

The lady in question works with underage delinquent criminals – most of who need a good beating. They’re basically a bunch of craps. Anyways – I usually give many different people rides regardless of who they are. Some of those have been underage delinquent little bitches who have since gone back to Creighton Youth and in the course of her job told her I gave them rides.

So this former friend who I am now full of contempt for has interpreted that into meaning I hang out with underage girls which is simply a falsehood. People can speculate and gossip all they like but that won’t make it true. I told her I don’t hang out with underage people but this stupid cow is taking the word of an underage deliquent little bitch over the word of a responsible mature adult. More fool her!

I told the former friend to call me and say hi once in a while and she proceeded to say some crap about we have nothing in common, and the position she is in at work means she cannot associate with me or something to that effect. I wasn’t asking the silly cow to date. Too bad she couldn’t be mature enough to look past the gossip.

If her nose was any higher in the air it would have snow on it. Stuck up cows are something I’ve never been able to handle! Kenora sucks!

October 2nd, 2010 | 21 Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

Once Upon Us – “When You’re Not Around”

My mate Nate Winishut is a Sergeant in the U.S Army. Deployed to Iraq twice to kick ass and take names, all the while Nate was developing his musical skills to what I think are a superb level. He got together with a dude called Ben Tolman and created a band called ‘Once Upon Us’. This is one of their tracks:

September 25th, 2010 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook

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Ryan Paul

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