Ryan Paul

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Freedom

I was amazed at the amount of freedom that came with knowing who one of my former girlfriends is in a relationship with.

Upon asking a few people about him it turns out he’s not a bad guy, but according to two separate people he’s a major pot head who smokes weed all the time. I may have had a lot of flaws like putting my job before my girlfriend, or when I was angry myself being blind to the hurt and frustration she had – but at least I’m not on something. I guess we all have our flaws.

It did irritate me and hurt a little bit when one of my former girlfriends said that I’m a mean person. I can say mean things in the heat of passion, but I don’t set out to hurt anyone purposely. I don’t think I’m mean – it struck me as rather ironic someone being mean by telling me I’m mean. I suspect that she didn’t think I was mean when we were together (unless she confused rude with mean).

Finding out who he was bothered me as I was directly lied to (as opposed to not answering, or being economical with the truth), but it’s still an awesome thing being in the know.

Now that I know who he is – I’m free. I’m no longer wondering if she left me for a woman abusing drunk, or a crack dealer. Life goes on with freedom and laughter.

June 25th, 2010 | 4 Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

National Geographic Breasts

After I posted my previous blog about the male obsession with tits, someone used the phrase ‘National Geographic Titties’… and so I did some internet research again. I found a rather awesome site called ‘Amazon Indians’ which is created obviously from an anthropological point of view. So I decided to borrow a few photos to illustrate my point.
Chawa Wassa Matis during the Dance of Queixada.
Both of these girls are from the Matis Indians (not to be mixed up with the MatsÃ©s) who are a small group of panoan-speaking native Amazonians who live in the Javari (YavarÃ) Valley in Brazil. Only about 300 of them have survived to the present date, the majority disappearing in the early 1980′s, sacrificed to the consequences of their encounter with modern civilization.

The picture above of eighteen year old Chawa Wassa Matis with son Tumi pretty much proves my point. Men are naturally obsessed with breasts because it signifies child rearing capability.

The first image that comes to mind when I see a naked indigenous women is of a baby sucking happily away. These pictures reinforce that line of thought. So once again ladies… don’t hate us when we stare at your breasts. It’s basically that we’re honouring you with the thought you’re worthy to bear our children

June 20th, 2010 | 1 Comment | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

Breast Obsession

I always had a pretty accurate idea as to why I love knockers. Tits are awesome. So I did a little bit of internet research and found out that the male obsession with women’s breasts is bang on what I thought.

Men find breasts calming

In a linear world full of hard edges and harder realities, breasts are soft, welcoming and non-threatening . With their obvious connection to breast-feeding, and by extension childhood, breasts remind us of our halcyon days when our mothers protected us from all the world’s evils.

Breasts are a symbol of fertility

A-cup or Z-cup, breasts define femininity in the same way that channel surfing and participating in fantasy sports leagues define masculinity. Breasts hint at a woman’s ability to nurture and sustain life. They also point to a woman’s capacity to breed, as they signal the onset of puberty. It’s for this reason that we can find Pamela Anderson’s breasts alluring while we can be disgusted by Ned Beatty’s floppy man tits in Deliverance (sorry Ned).

It’s a matter of natural selection

According to Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution, we subconsciously select partners who are healthy and appear capable of reproduction — all of which explains why the frail Darwin had so much time to write books rather than go out on dates.

According to his research, men are attracted to bazooms (especially the more shapely variety) because they are indicative of a strong constitution and an ability to further propagate the species. Although reproduction is no longer our top priority, this instinct remains despite centuries of evolution (much like our own nipples).

So there we have it ladies… it’s a natural thing when we stare at your tits. Don’t take it personal, don’t get uppity, don’t get stuck up, don’t get offended. Just realise we are only doing what comes instinctively. We can’t help it if we happen to like acting instinctively

June 19th, 2010 | 1 Comment | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

You’re so lame

If you’ve ever seen the movie ‘How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days’ you’ll know the song ‘YOU’RE SO LAME’! It’s very fitting for a situation such as this. People are simply so lame.

Firstly… if someone don’t like my blog, what in the blazes are they doing reading it? If you don’t like what I write then don’t read it. But seeing as someone does read it I’ll take that as a seal of endorsement. I’m flattered someone think my words are awesome enough to check out every day.

Secondly… threatening? Are you kidding me? People obviously don’t know me well enough if they think I’m the type that would threaten physical violence or injury against someone. I’ll leave that to the riff-raff. Just because people seem to revel in low blows against me, it doesn’t mean I’ll stoop to their level with a low blow and resort to violence dummy!

It seems there’s a few people who are just like my previous girlfriend – a lack of ability to read between the lines. But seeing as you’re not getting what I meant… I’ll give you a hint. What do fingerprinting and subpoenas have in common?

April 30th, 2010 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

Almost Canadian

After two years of dicking around, I finally filed the necessary papers with Citizenship and Immigration Canada. The form was surprisingly short and the application cost $200… along with the $15 to get two Immigration photos done ( which have different specifications from passport photos).

The process is going to take a while… and there’s a document called ‘Discover Canada: the Rights and Responsibilities’ which I’m supposed to study about Canadian history, values, rights and responsibilities of citizenship etc. Then I’ll take a citizenship test and take an oath before a citizenship judge. If I flunk the test I’ll have an interview with a citizenship judge. Guess I got a lot of studying to do.

So by this time next year… I really will be Canadian. Holy cow eh?

March 31st, 2010 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

I miss America

Over the past ten years I’ve spent considerable time living in the U.S. There were a few hiccups but most of the time it was awesome. There’s simply no feeling equal to being a British bloke walking into a smalltown bar like in Delta, Utah where I lived… and hearing Alan Jackson singing ‘Pop a Top’, or Tracey Lawrence crooning ‘Time Marches On’… while blokes walk around with real Stetson hats and ropers. The kind of stuff I only saw in movies back in England.

Even now when I think about that day… getting completely drunk on Peach Schnapps and then going outside and barfing it up on the sidewalk it still gives me butterflies. It was awesome. I was happy. I had not a care in the world. I was finally in America.

I remember wearing all denim, with a stetson walking down Main Street.. I didn’t look too bad.

Now I live in Canada… even though I’ve had ten years of the ‘New world’ buzz… it still is awesome everytime I go across the border.

So I figured I’d put this awesome Youtube video on. Sit back, close your eyes and imagine a small town bar with an uneven warped wooden floor.. not much lighting, only one pool table… coupla rednecks sitting at the bar and one or two people with Yank accents floating around… and hopefully you’ll get the feeling I do.

March 3rd, 2010 | No Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

Blahhhhhhhhhh

I kinda lost the motivation to blog for the last little while. I’m blogging now because I’m nowhere near to going to sleep, and I have to get up in two hours anyway.

Just as I was feeling completely sick of working for myself, my previous boss called me and offered me my old job back and I accepted which was convenient and good for both of us. So I’m back at Overdrive slogging my guts out every day, working from home and building awesome websites. Not having to worry about work hours or schedules is brilliantly refreshing.

After 25 years I now officially have a girlfriend. I’m in a relationship for once, and not just shagging some bird and then getting ditched. My lady’s name is Sam and she’s delightfully kindhearted and easy to get along with (most of the time). I’ve got high hopes for us.

I ordered Seasons 1-7 of the tv series from England called ‘Spooks’. All I will say is… I do not regret it at all!

Band of Brothers ROCKS!

February 8th, 2010 | 4 Comments | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

Airsoft M4

A couple of weeks ago I bought a cheap M4 Airsoft rifle from Walmart for about $100. Needless to say I was hooked. I’ve been out shooting Tim Horton’s cups in my porch and taking a microwave packing box full of polystyrene to the parking lot of Two Bears Marina and shooting the crap out of it (I shoot out towards the water for safety).

Anyway… so almost immediately I felt the need for something more powerful and better quality. I went and checked out 007 Airsoft to see what Ken had. Needless to say I was rather excited by his range of Airsoft weapons – it’s only too bad some of them are available to law enforcement or licensed movie production companies.

Canadian law basically states the lower receiver has to be clear plastic. If you look closely in the picture you’ll see the lower receiver on the weapon I bought is tinted dark so it’s a bit more realistic.

It has an anodized aluminum upper receiver and detachable carrying handle, tinted clear glass fiber reinforced C8 lower receiver conforming to Canadian regulations, CNC Aluminum RIS unit, a Nylon fiber pistol grip, railed vertical grip, RIS panels, retractable crane stock (holds battery) with two styles butt plates, 14mm threaded aluminum CNC outer barrel, iron chamber block, 6.05mm tight bore inner barrel, a metal one-piece hop up chamber, ultra high torque motor, 300rd high capacity magazine,

The gear box has an M120 spring, steel gears, 8mm ball bearings, aluminum cylinder, aluminum cylinder head with double o-rings, reinforced nylon fiber piston with steel teeth, aluminum piston head with bearings, aluminum bearing spring guide, POM nozzle with internal o-ring, high temperature wires.

Steel furniture includes charging handle, magazine catch, bolt catch, selector, front sight, and flash hider. The other metal parts are rear sight assembly, trigger, ejection port cover, trigger guard, magazine, front/rear sling mounts, forward assist knob, steel motor pinion gear, and locking body pins.

The best part is the velocity is 400fps using 0.20g plastic BBs. I can’t wait to get out and start shooting helpless little moggies. I’m also going to check out Xtreme Tactics in Winnipeg and kick some serious ass – show some of those newbie punks how British dudes with a rifle get busy!

Oh yeah… Call of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare 2 kicks serious arse. Every review I heard about it was positive – the reputation was well worth it.

November 26th, 2009 | 1 Comment | Share: Digg | Facebook | Email This Post

A good experience with Associated Bank

I have an account in the United States with Associated Bank. The story is my former girlfriend (who is now apparently married to an extremely jealous dude) used to work at First Federal Bank in Kenosha, Wisconsin. A number of years later Associated Bank bought First Federal. The first thing I lost was the ability to use internet banking to check my accounts and stuff like that – because Associated Bank’s system used only Social Security numbers, and as I’m not an American resident I don’t have a SS number.

When the account was originally set up I was told that I would only be allowed to spend what I had in my account (no overdraft). I was given a Debit card with a MasterCard symbol on it. Turns out this is a very handy card to have as I can use it at Tim Horton’s to get coffee.

So anyway to cut a long story short… I called up yesterday to get a new card and found out I had USD$798 in overdraft fees. I was obviously livid which was made even worse to find out that the fees all stemmed from four transactions totalling USD$13. I told the guy on the phone to cancel the charges or close the account, and then I asked to speak to a supervisor. I got through to a nice lady who took all the information and sent it up the corporate ladder to a splendid lady called Jennifer Fox who is (I think) the Vice-President of Customer Service for Associated Bank.

Ms Fox zeroed my balance, removed those late fees and gave me back the deposit I’d made a few weeks earlier. She said that she’d looked at the account, saw the charges were small and knew right away I’d never have made those tiny transactions knowing it would cost $35 a time. Ms Fox also removed the ability to go overdrawn so now if I have a balance of $10 and try to swipe $11… the transaction will be refused (which is how I always figured my account functioned).

Ms Fox also had a web banking specialist in her office at the time and they set me up with web banking so now I can check my balance online.

Suffice to say I am very happy with the outcome. I’m very pleasantly surprised that Associated Bank cared enough about their customers to come to an agreeable ending. No doubt I’ll be referring customers whenever possible.