Work And Life

Work is going good… fortunately I’m in a job that I truly love. Web development… behind the scenes construction of web sites… additions, changes, deletions. I want to expand but it’s not my business so there’s no way. Going out on my own might be an option far in the future, but it’s not feasible now.

I had a major harddrive meltdown on Monday. The PC wouldn’t boot to Windows. I lost a day’s pay by staying at home on Tuesday which made me rather mad. Luckily we retrieved 20GB of data and so now we’re working off the external hard drive and the other internal hard drive that doesn’t have the operating system on.

Life with Nicolas is going great. He’s potty trained almost 100%. Every so often he’ll dump in his pants, but he’s got the whole thing down. Saving us a ton of money in diapers… lot more underpants washing though.

I want to move to Vancouver, but it’ll never happen because I have to be where my boy is, and Lorraine would never agree to taking him there. She’ll never move away from Kenora either.

I’m successfully keeping up the pumping iron regime at the recreation centre gymnasium. I’m going four times a week but after this weekend I’ll be going five days a week. My rest days will be Wednesday and Saturday. Eating five times a day is getting hard to keep with but it’s all worth it because I’ve already put on about 6lbs in weight. The weights I lift are getting heavier each time. You wouldn’t think that lifting two 5lb weights in front and side lateral raises is very hard but my personal trainer Darryl is teaching me the correct technique for everything… and lifting those two five pound weights hurts like hell after 4 sets of 15.

Getting into the fitness lifestyle is very hard to start with but a breeze once you’re into it. I find myself wanting to go to the gym every day, but of course the muscle rest time is needed.

I still hate a few certain people who live on this reserve. Hate is something hard for me to let go of (if ever) once I start. I don’t hate for petty reasons either.

Good thing is that England beat Trinidad & Tobago two nil in the World Cup. Beckham, Lampard, Gerrard and Rooney are the golden guys… I think we’re going to win it this time. I’m certain that if we do, I’m going to have to break my rule of no alcohol, get wasted and party for the whole damn weekend. If England wins the World Cup, I reckon it should be turned into a national holiday.

Crappy Canadian television is still running crappy sports like Ice Hockey, Basketball and Baseball when the World Cup is on. Isn’t it a bit ironic that Canada and the U.S’s major sports are all pirated from British games, or are British invented? Like hellooooooo get some originality… invent your own games!

What I Preach And How I Live

I’m quite aware that most of the time the way I live isn’t in line with the philosophy I like to remember. However here’s a start…

To the person who posted the comment about my daughter – to verbally assault a baby who didn’t live the way you did was the action of a coward. I know you are a coward as you did not have courage to face me, and after today I won’t give you the honor of mentioning your presence in my blog anymore – just know this… I know who you are. Do not ask me for anymore favours.

Every day I am reminded that I do not belong where I am. Every day I am reminded about all the great things about England, that I never realised existed until I left.ƒâ€š Every day I wish I could just pack my bags and take off back to England.

I’ve always had problems relating to women. Whether it manifest as shyness, or weirdness or intimidation – it’s always been there. That’s thanks to Myra Anscombe from Southborough, Kent, England. I remember one time with my best friend Susie (before she was my best friend)… she and I were up in my apartment with a buddy of ours called Mark. We were larking around with pillows – all in good fun – we ended up wrestling and I held her down by her arms for about five seconds. Thinking nothing of it I just went on about my day. The next day Mark told me that Susie got scared of me because I had a weird look in my eye. I was totally crushed. Eventually Susie realised that I didn’t mean nothing by it, but still to this day about nine years later that event bothers me.

All of my former girlfriends have done me over or have been unproductive relationships. One I met in a psychiatric children’s ward… I loved her for a long long time. We were never really together but I loved her for about eight years after I last saw her. Another I met in that same ward… she was half decent.. a complete and total nymphomaniac who had to have it all the time. Sad that she’ll never amount to much. The next was my former wife. Suffice to say that was a complete mistake I made choosing a highly insecure woman with control issues, when I was at an emotionally vunerable point in life.

The next cheated on me – which didn’t help my opinion of women generally. It was this woman that made me go through an intensive period of hating America, it’s values, it’s citizens and everything it stands for. Note – I do not classify indigenous people as part of their respective colonised lands. Luckily I mostly got over that.

My current woman has some serious problems too. Our relationship is tumultuous to say the least, but she’ll always have one up on everyone else because she’s blessed me with two beautiful children.

Literating about my current and previous female interests is to show that all the people who have screwed me over in life and done me wrong have been female – that includes my mother – so it’s comforting for me to find solace and true friendship in a woman: my best friend Susie Gardiner.